Wishing and Wondering

I was sitting quietly in the back yard on a warm and sunny afternoon. Spring was blessing us with a few unusual warm days and I've been very much appreciating them.

The children who live behind me were all outside and I could hear their laughter while they played. Some of the children must have gone inside and one child remained outside.

Suddenly the air was filled with loud singing. This child, I guesstimated to be about 6 or 7, had burst into a spontaneous made-up song.

I smiled.

Such unabashed joy and hope were so strongly felt that she couldn't help herself but to express it.

I remembered I used to do that too. I particularly remember one afternoon in the barn at Grandpa's that I sang Jim Jimmeny over and over (from the Mary Poppins movie). I sang it while I attempted to balance on the edge of the manger and walk the whole distance of about 8 feet with my arms stuck out sideways. I just loved that song.

I asked myself what had happened to me. To us adults. Why can't I suddenly burst out into spontaneous song? (Why do I feel I can't?) I guess I grew up. And I fear 'men in white jackets'.

But listening to that little girl I couldn't help but let go a few tears, remembering and regretting growing up maybe a bit too much.