The Curtains Caper

They say that truth is stranger than fiction. I believe them.

The curtains in my garage, the ones that hang over the window in the small side door, disappeared one day. It was very strange. Who would want to take my curtains?

A few days later I found them. Jeremy had stolen them. And he never apologized either when I took them back. In fact, all he did was natter at me quite loudly as I prodded him with a pair of BBQ tongs. All I was trying to retrieve was what was mine in the first place.

You see, Jeremy is a squirrel. He's got the bushiest squirrel tail that I've ever seen. I'm certain he's quite proud of that tail. It would keep him very warm on our cold Canadian winter days.

For the last two years I have put sunflower seeds out and Jeremy has been a daily visitor. He's also quite brave around humans and he would often approach me quite closely. That's when he would natter, but in a nice way, and shake his tail. This would be his form of begging. He wanted peanuts. I would always give him some and he would try to stuff 3 of them in his mouth at once. Squirrels never seem to catch on that they can only really carry 2 at a time.

When I was in the garage Jeremy would follow me in and beg for the peanuts there. He knew that's where I kept them, sealed up in a container.

I went into the garage and after being in there a few moments I heard rustling. I got a ladder out and climbed up to where the roof joins with the walls. There's a space there and I bet you can imagine what I found. Yes, Jeremy. He had made a nest in the garage. I discovered he was making use of the cat door and was coming and going from the garage. He had obviously made lots of trips because his nest was full of leaves... and my curtains.

I evicted him, despite his complaints. A few days later he was back and I had to climb the ladder and evict him again. Then I had to close the cat door for the winter. I worried that stray cats would be cold so I made sure there were cardboard boxes and lots of straw in the old dog house so they'd have a place to go.

A couple weeks ago I went into the garage and again I heard that familiar rustling. I knew right away who it was. Jeremy had chewed the wood of the cat door and made a hole big enough to get back inside the garage again. I blocked the hole and evicted him. He was not happy.

He showed up in there again. As I drove the truck in I saw him sitting on the roof of an old rabbit hutch. He nattered at me like I was a big old meanie. I got the raccoon trap out and you can probably guess what I put in it. Yes, peanuts.

Two nights later I had him and took him out of the garage and released him. It was dark and he ran off into the night.

The next morning he wanted his peanuts in the back yard. I think I'm forgiven.

Then a week later I saw a poor orange tabby cat in my backyard, cold and starving. I put out food for him. It was cold too, -5. There was nothing I could do but open up the cat door in the garage so this stray would have a warm place to go.

I bet you know what that means.....